4 Shots of the Fruit-Pocalypse

Artist's rendition: Me this morning

So yesterday I was at a wedding. It was pretty awesome. Happy people dancing, band playing music, awesome food, the whole deal. Also, there was a bunch of booze floating around. I was talking to a friend about my plans for this week's entry, which was gonna be an alcoholic drink involving chocolate, cream, sugar, bailey's, pure joy, and milkshakes. Sounds awesome, I know, but she was lamenting the fact that she wouldn't be able to try it until she was off of her wedding-diet. Which got me curious. That's always a bad thing. Curiosity and weddings mix badly. But I got inspired by the fruity nonsense drinks flying around the place to try and make a delicious simple drink that, while isn't exactly diet-friendly, is much more so than 1,000 pounds of cream, sugar, and chocolate all vying to make your face explode with happiness. Happiness, and also the daily caloric intake of Guatemala.

Ingredients:

2 shots of Peach Schnapps (Technically, a shot is 1.5 ounces. So this would be 3 ounces. Or you could have just taken a shot glass and filled it up twice, instead of making everything difficult)
1 shot Triple Sec
1 shot Vodka
1 20 oz. bottle of Ginger Ale
Limes! 
Ice!
Maraschino Cherries!

Warning: do not consume without first making a toast, laying
on a beach, or screaming out the roof of a limo.

This is a recipe that involves absolutely no cooking, and not much in the way of assembly either. If you can't figure this one out, you may want to just call in sick for the rest of the decade rather than risk the daily puzzle that is tying your shoes. The first thing you're gonna want to do is take your peach schnapps, triple sec, vodka, and ginger ale, and mix them together. Then slice your lime in to...slices of lime. Lay a couple lime slices upright in a glass, and then fill said glass with ice. Ice is key for any cocktail. Even heathen peoples who like warm beer, and will be rightfully punished by the gods for their blasphemy, acknowledge that cocktails need ice. So find some way to get some ice, and plop it in your glass. As you fill up the glass with ice, throw in some cherries and more lime slices along the edge of the glass, because we're classy goddammit. Then fill up your glass with your booze mixture. And that's it! You've got delicious fruity nonsense that's not as terribly caloric as it might have otherwise been. You know, if I was left to my own devices. My chocolatey, delicious devices. Enjoy.