July 7, 2015

Breakfast Omelette

This picture comes off kind of dickish. It's like "hey, I can
totally afford to pay a stupid price for fancy eggs. You?"
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I don't know if that's true or not. It sounds plausible, but then again, it could just be more propaganda from the powerful D.C. Egg Lobby. Regardless, it seems prudent to know how to make it just in case. And nothing says breakfast like a classic Omelette. Or possibly homemade hangover cures and lots of prayer. It depends on what kind of night you're waking up from. Either way, things are looking up.


3 Eggs
4 Green Onions
1 oz. Cheddar Cheese
1 oz. Smoked Gouda
1/2 TBSP Butter
1/2 tsp Salt
1/4 tsp Black Pepper

There are a lot of different things you can do with an omelette. You can go as simple, or as over the top and extreme as your imagination can handle. This is a recipe for a basic, awesome, Cheese Omelette, but if you have the desire to get more intense with it, just remember one key rule. If you want it to be cooked, cook it before you throw it in the omelette. That holds true regardless of whether you're adding in onions and peppers, tomatoes, hash browns, steak, or anything else. It won't have the time it needs to cook with the eggs, so cook it first, and add it in when you make your omelette later. Which, coincidentally, is when you can thank me for this awesome tip that will save you heartbroken trips to iHop. You're eventually welcome.

The first thing you're gonna need to do is get all of your goddamn ducks in a row. Metaphorically speaking (If for whatever weird reason you want to literally get ducks in a row, try this). Normally I'm a fan of prepping things as you need them, but eggs go from undercooked to overcooked faster than fella can fail to produce a folksy metaphor. So chop your Green Onions, portion out your cheeses and your butter, and beat your eggs together with your Salt and Pepper until they all form a tightly knit support group that gets together for drinks every other Wednesday night (Protip that I'm fairly certain I've mentioned before in other recipes: for best results, first remove eggs from their shells).

Melt your butter in a skillet over medium heat, and then dump in your egg mixture. Swirl the pan around like a pansy so that your eggs evenly coat the bottom. And also to let people know you may or may not be a pansy. When there's still raw egg on top, but not enough for it to run when you shake the pan, add in your extras. In our case, those are the cheeses, and all but a pinch of the Green Onions. Let the cheese melt slightly, and use a spatula to ease up the edges of the omelette slightly. Now comes the fun part, and by
Gooeyness added to induce drool
"fun" I mean "Oh god, we're gonna mess it up, oh god oh crap." Take your spatula and fold up 1/3 of the omelette. Then take your pan, and slide the omelette onto a plate, starting with the unfolded bit. As it slides out, fold the omelette over itself, and you'll end up with a perfectly tri-folded omelette. Get it wrong and you'll end up with a plate of shame and disappointment. Which will still taste pretty awesome, but it'll be ugly. Like democracy! Top it with your remaining Green Onions, and enjoy. Cheap, fast, relatively easy, and delicious. Sounds like breakfast to me.

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