|This week in self-discovery: I learned I'm a Pineapple Serial|
Killer. I stalked them, cut off their heads, and hollowed them
out. I'm more than a little disturbed by this. Oh well.
1 standard-issue Pineapple
1/4 cup Pineapple Juice
1/4 cup Coconut Rum
1/4 cup White Rum
2 TBSP Triple Sec
The juice from 2 Limes
2 TBSP fresh Mint Leaves
1 tsp Sugar
So much ice
The first thing you're gonna need to do is re-evaluate your life choices. You could have gone on that Antarctic expedition and married that penguin like your mother wanted. But nooooo. You had to live around other people, in an above-freezing climate. And now you have to deal with the consequences. Once that sinks in and you finish weeping, take a grade-A thwacking knife, and decapitate your Pineapple. Then, using a combination of knives, spoons, and voodoo witchcraft, hollow out the inside of the pineapple, leaving about a 1/4 inch of fruit around the skin to act as a barrier. Or don't. But don't come crying to me when you're drinking out of a dumb boring glass instead of a badass pineapple corpse.
|A huge thanks to Sarah from Ralph's on Pico for randomly|
giving me festive umbrellas to stick in my Pineapple.