June 29, 2015

Strawberry Soup

Not Pictured: Salt. He knows what he did.
Next, in my line of recipes designed to thwart the sun from it's attempt to kill us all, is Strawberry Soup. And let's face it...we need it. I don't know who decided to let the sun have all of that andro, but it's coming back to bite us. Big time. The only chance we have to make it through the summer is to have some insanely high levels of refreshment and deliciousness. Or we could make a run for it and move to Australia where it's winter. But then we'd have to deal with preachy Koalas, with their promotional pamphlets, and their eucalyptus leaves. So instead we're gonna make some awesome and refreshing soup, guzzle down half of it to avoid death by sunshine, and launch the rest of it directly into the sun to get it to chill the hell out. It's the best shot we've got. Well, maybe the 2nd best.


32 oz Strawberries
2 cups Orange Juice
1.5 cups Soy Milk
3 Limes
2 TBSP chopped Mint Leaves
1 average human-sized pinch of Salt
A fun kitchen gadget/whirry electric knife stick

This is one of those delightful recipes that doesn't actually require us to cook anything. Which is a good thing, because starting a fire is the last thing we want to do in this heat. The first thing you're gonna need to do is to rinse your Strawberries, and cut the tops off of them. Because they grow in the dirt, and regardless of what David Spade would have you believe, there's nothing refreshing about dirt. This is all assuming you used fresh berries. If you used frozen berries, chances are the tops were cut off long ago. You can use this time to lord it over the rest of us. Done? Good. Dump your berries into a pot, along with your Orange Juice and your Soy Milk. Take your limes, cut them in half, and squeeze them over the pot with all of your might until their insides become their outsides, and their juice comes pouring out. Spend half an hour picking out the seeds, and promising that next time you'll actually remember to be careful.
I'm pretty sure my body temperature dropped just by looking
at this picture. I'm still gonna have some soup though.

Next it's time to choppity chop your Mint down into tiny bits. Toss the Mint into your pot along with a pinch 'o salt, and grab your Immersion Blender! I've talked about these before, but let's have a quick recap. It's an electric stick with sharp bits at the end of it, that you stick into a liquid. Then you push a button on said electric stick, and the knifey bits get super excited and start jumping around until they kill everything in the pot. With love. So get that going on, and keep it going until your soup is smooth, and delicious. Stick it in the fridge for at least an hour, and enjoy! (Protip: for even more enjoyment, take the whirry knife stick OUT of the soup before serving)

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