November 28, 2014

Pan-Fried Stuffing Fritters

Not all captions have to be funny. Shut up, you don't know.
Thanksgiving happens to be an awesome holiday. And before you start talking about the tragic eradication of an indigenous people, you should just shut up. Pretty much every holiday has a horrible story if you go back far enough. But I have exciting news! We live in the present! So quit the whining, and celebrate festivity, feasting, friends, family, and so on. This holiday is brought to you by the letter F. And if your F-filled holiday is anything like mine, you'll be have approximately twice as much food as you actually cooked in leftovers. I don't know how this works, but it does. So here's a fun idea for re-utilizing some of those leftovers. 


1 cup, Leftover Mashed Potatoes
2 TBSP Leftover Gravy
3 cups Leftover Stuffing
2 Eggs
A normal-sized person's pinch of salt
An unspecified amount of oil (either peanut, grapeseed, or avocado is what I'd use. Anything with a high smoke point that you can fry with)

The first thing you need to do is to lightly beat the eggs, just until the whites and the yolks start to come together. Socially acceptable utensils to use for this are a whisk, a fork, or leftover turkey bones. Unacceptable utensils are a finger (regardless of whose finger it is), or any other body part. Don't be gross. Stupid implements, not mentioned in the "unacceptable" category, because they're stupid, can include: spoons, funky hats, ennui, and holiday blues. 

Once your eggs know their place, stir in the gravy, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. It'll probably start getting pretty loose and making some weird gloppy sounds when you stir it, making you question whether you were hungry in the first place. This is normal.

Add oil to a frying pan until you've got about a 1/4 inch of it coating the bottom,  and then heat it up over medium-high heat. Once your oil is good and hot, take your disturbing glop, and pour it into 3 inch pancakes on your pan. Approximate. Don't break out a ruler. Well, you CAN, but just know that while you're carefully measuring the exact length of your fritters, your food is burning. Also, I hate you. 

I'm just happy that I'm not in this recipe. 
Let your fritters get nice and brown. Then flip them. You could use a spatula for this. Or you could do it by hand, like a man. Once you've proven your masculinity via hot-oil burns, brown the 2nd side, and remove the fritters from the pan.  Repeat this process until you're out of glop. You may have to add in more oil between batches. Now enjoy! Personally, I throw a little bit of leftover cranberry sauce on top of them when I eat them, but that's super optional. Unless you want to emulate me, in which case it's mandatory. Happy thanksgiving everybody!

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