Cheddar Spaghetti Squash Casserole

"Sometimes life hands you an unreasonable amount of cheese. It is up to each of us as occasionally upright members of the human race to determine how we'll react. Will we let sloth and time turn that cheese to mold while it sits unused in the refrigerator, or will we take bold action? Create something great from nothing, and leave a legacy for the future?"

Rare portrait of Washington kicking the British apart.

When George Washington said these words, they were met with applause by an enthusiastic young nation, tired of war and eager for a prosperous tomorrow. They were also met with some confusion, since the refrigerator wouldn't be invented for another 50 years or so. Which only makes it more inspiring. And it's just as relevant today as it was then. It speaks to our will, determination, and perseverance. When you've got an apartment full of discount cheese from the back of a van and misshapen produce sent to you by the internet, what are you to do? This. This is what you're to do.


Ingredients:

2 reasonably sized Spaghetti Squash 
3 Cups Broccoli Florets (If you want you can totally use fresh broccoli, cutting the florets off and then steaming them before using them in this recipe. But for an application like this, I'm totally cool with using frozen broccoli from a bag that you let defrost. Follow your heart)
3 Cups Cheddar Cheese Sauce (The best way to get cheese sauce is to steal it from work, like I did. If you get caught by security, I've mentioned the method behind making it here. And also here)
1.5 TBSP Pickled Jalapeños 
2 tsp Garlic Powder
1/4 tsp Black Pepper
1/4 tsp Chili Powder
Salt
Olive Oil

The first thing you're going to have to do is deal with your spaghetti squash. If you haven't used this ingredient before, don't worry. It's pretty cool, and also pretty easy to work with, which is cool in and of itself. So it's cool squared (Math puns!) but we still have to prep it a little bit. Cut each of your squash in half with a cold and pitiless stare. Then, with grim efficiency, scoop all of their seeds and guts out in to the trash. Rub the dismembered squash corpses down with your garlic powder, black pepper, chili powder, olive oil, and a large human's pinch of salt. Throw that nonsense in a 375 degree oven for about an hour. While you're cooking your squash, it's time to deal with your cheese sauce. Heat it up over medium heat. Roughly chop your jalapeños, and throw them in to the party so that their flavor can really get in there. Taste it and add salt if needed. That seemed like an hour's worth of work, right? If you have time left over, feel free to use it solving international crises, fighting crime, or sitting motionlessly on your couch while staring at a rectangle on your wall. Whatever floats your boat.

Florescent lighting notwithstanding, that's some
Grade-A deliciousness right there.  

Once your squash is cooked and out of the oven, take two forks and get ready to go to gourd town. As the name might have indicated to some of you, spaghetti squash has this weird thing where it breaks up into strands with roughly the same shape as spaghetti noodles. So shred the crap out of it until you have a big pile of vegetable based pasta substitute. Discard the peel (It knows what it did) and throw your squash strands into a bowl along with your broccoli and your sauce. Splorp that all together until it looks relatively uniform and it makes unpleasant squishing noises. Spread your cheesy gourd goop evenly into a baking dish and throw it a 400 degree oven for about 1/2 an hour. Your telltale signs that it's done are the cheese bubbling and turning a darker color, the edges getting crispy and browned, and it smelling up your entire apartment with deliciousness at 2 in the morning. Then pull it out of the oven, try to resist immediately digging in to the burning hot cheesy goodness, fail, treat your burns in order of severity, and repeat!