Chickpea Onion Dip

The world is a mess, and I just need to....rule it.

We live in tumultuous times. There's violence, strife, and political division, both on a global scale, and also widespread domestically. And that's just about Lady Gaga. Lots of people are scared and angry, and most of them don't seem to even know what they're angry about. But the superbowl's coming up soon! We can all get excited about that, probably! We can all get together and cheer while watching the exciting match between the....Patriots and Falcons. Ok, so the superbowl will be awful. But at least it gives us an excuse to dip food into other food, creating double-food, capable of insane levels of deliciousness. And, when you get down to it, isn't that what America is really all about? The answer is no.

Ingredients:

2  16-oz Cans of Chickpeas (Chickpeas are also known as garbanzos, because life is hard and hates you personally)

1  Standard Bunch of Green Onions (Green Onions, also called scallions, are social creatures that travel from supermarket to supermarket in units known as "bunches." They have developed a symbiotic relationship with another supermarket-dwelling creature known as the "tiny blue rubberband that you immediately lose, but later breaks your vacuum cleaner")

3 TBSP Olive Oil

One large human's pinch of Salt

One smallish and/or puny human's pinch of Black Pepper

This recipe, much like one of my bookshelves and my couch, hails from the proud tradition of shameless stealing things from my mother. I can only assume that with time I'll eventually grow bolder and steal more substantial things, like her car or social security number. Time will tell. The point is, crack open your cans of chickpeas, drain out the weird juice and gunk, and then toss them into a standard-issue mashing bowl. Now it's time to painstakingly mash the chickpeas, pretty much one at a time, with a fork. If you're a fool. Like I apparently was for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Make your life easier and use a potato-masher, which is apparently useful for something other than jamming drawers.

Guaranteed to make your day 50% more delicious. And
13% more full of mashing things. 

Rinse off your green onions, and then choppity chop them into little bits. Mix them, along with the rest of your ingredients, into your mashed chickpeas. And that's it! Well, mostly. Stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours so that the flavors get to know one another. And then that's totally it. For sure this time. Dip anything you like in there, and it'll be delicious. Vegetables, bread, crackers, you name it. Bugs. Probably not bugs. Don't dip gross things and you won't get gross results. Enjoy, and tune in next week for more superbowl food! Because, the world may suck...the game may suck...but at least we can eat good food, drink, and be merry while we endure it! (Next week's recipe may just be on how to find and consume beer. We'll see!)