January 13, 2015

Dunken Gummies

These gummies were 10 years sober. Sad stuff.
The first time that I saw a video online of somebody infusing gummy bears with alcohol, I knew it was something that I'd be trying. That day. Because the concept is awesome. A compact, snackable treat that's got an alcoholic kick to it. It's practically the American dream. So I ran out, bought some supplies, and made the exact recipe I'd seen on the interweb. It came out...ok. But it had the potential to be better. So I tinkered and tinkered until I'd made a truly incredible recipe. And also got super drunk on gummy bears.


12 oz Assorted Gummy Creatures (bears, worms, flamingos, whatever. Just make sure they're fruit flavored, which the vast majority of things in the gummy-verse are.)
1/2 cup Triple Sec
1/2 cup Peach Schnapps 
1/2 cup Mango Rum
An unspecified amount of Vodka
A resealable plastic container

The first thing to do is to take your gummy creatures and dump them in to your container. Bonus points if you create a gummy diorama of their natural environment. Then dump in your rum, schnapps, and triple sec. Triple sec, for those who don't know (and I suppose, also for those who do know) is an orange flavored liqueur, and is a common component in mixed drinks. Why isn't it just CALLED orange liqueur then? Because back in the day, the creator decided that he wanted to screw with you. Yes you personally. He was kind of a dick. 

Anyhow, once your fruity booze is all up in your container, grab your trusty bottle of vodka. Add in a splash of vodka. A "splash" is a nonsense measurement found in lazy recipes. Roughly speaking, it means "a little bit, but not TOO little. Just...sort of figure it out." Super helpful, I know. Essentially, what the vodka is doing here is determining just how strong your alcoholic gummies are. But the stronger they are, the more they'll taste like the alcohol, and the less they'll taste like artificially sugary bears and worms and armadillos. So, based on your preference, add anywhere from 2 tablespoons to a 1/4 cup of vodka. 
Does anybody remember what happened last night?

Once all of the booze is in, seal up your container, and shake it up to separate any gummies that are stuck together, allowing your alcohol to get into every last gummy crevice. Put you container 'O goodness in to the fridge, and let it sit for 12 hours, shaking occasionally to redistribute your gummies and booze. And that's it! The gummies should have soaked up most, if not all, of the alcohol, and will have turned super awesome. And kind of slimy. But that's the price we pay for combining an alcoholic coma with a diabetic coma. Totally worth it.

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