|Not pictured: Honey and Hot Sauce. They know what they did|
1 lb Dry Beef Salami
1/3 cup Dijon Mustard
1/4 cup Dark Brown Sugar
1.5 TBSP Balsamic Vinegar
1/2 tsp Honey
An unspecified amount of Hot Sauce (You're looking for a good basic heat here. Nothing too fancy, like you kids are into these days, with your sriracha's or what have you. I wanna say.....whippersnappers?)
The first step is to return the pre-sliced, grocery-store, hyphenate-adjective-inducing Salami that you probably bought, and get something better. Because the Salami is the heart and soul of this dish. Also because good salami is an incredible thing and you should find it, get it, and love it. Once you find a salami worthy of your love, you're ready to get started.
As promised, this recipe is pretty damned simple. Put your Brown Sugar into a bowl, pour you Balsamic Vinegar over it and stir. This will cause the sugar to melt like a roomful of nazis who just saw the ark of the covenant. Hah! Gross. Still hungry? Let's keep going anyway. The meltiness is a good thing. Melty sugar is able to mix much more easily with the other ingredients. Speaking of the other ingredients, now is a good time to take your Mustard, Honey, and a dash of Hot Sauce (how much is a "dash?" A very small amount. How small? Think about how spicy you like things, and figure it out), and splorp them down on top of your vinegar-sugar mixture. Seriously. All of them. Just mix it all together until it's all one homogenous goop.
Technically, you don't HAVE to smear a little sauce on each
slice. Far be it from me to call you a fool